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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in mee!'s LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 28th, 2011
2:55 pm
i am still alive?
never thought i'd make it past 25. i haven't written in 5 years. motivation to write? if so, completely different. maybe i will try again. less explosive hand wringing and shit flinging. maybe the same amount.
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
3:30 am
the wastelands
teeth and hair and bits of flesh, small cold stones with diagonal striations, little tufts of overgrown grass bent under it's own blade, dust is everywhere and nothing is moving, it is recursively imploding, the entire fucking thing, it is like the ouroboros but without a re-sizeable scale, it reverberates amongst it's old reverberations, dilly dallying and setting new records for apathetic excess. it aims to prove itself among it's dynamic components it aims to prove them lesser than the whole but without another layer deeper it is pale and lacking.

dear mother i've wept so many tears another story to smooth in between the chinks between the chinks between the gaps and holes a terrible stretch that kills both point a and point b
a summer rhyme written from behind a torrential window lapped over
and a child gaining silent tense pleasure from the act of carefully pulling one leg at a time off a grasshopper.

i wish my story could start like that.

in the end wasn't it so much less than what you expected it to be?
wet dreams of a summertime sunset castrated by the ease of writing off a thing for an idea
easy misanthropy, easy confidence, ease of believing in the 'natural' things
and the only way to win is to be omniscient

through words mistaken geriatric compounding smashy grindy teeth and bits of hair
smelly adult diapers a hell on earth let me tell you
in a cyclical fashion we lose our progress and it feels so right
i once wrote about brains with tumors like fruits in fruitcake
suffering sam i can relate right now some people are just born fucked born fucked
ah crazy catharsis munchkin blues shiver me timbers coat me with lamb fat

rub me down with heating salve ill spread apart layed out with a blow up diagram and all the
connecting bits will have letters till they have roman numerals

break the circle down to a line down to a dot a black dot and when you find yourself a cold chisel and a monstrous hammer suitable to split that dot apart will the dreams of rainbows make themselves undeniable to you once again?
Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
11:57 am
.
it is this careful kind of relaxing that is the key


selective and intuitive with a hint of rationality


see the possibilities of the future without making promises to yourself


feel safe in your own strength

it will happen
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
11:00 am
im so glad to have such thoughtful people in my network
i was just reading over the entries for the last couple weeks. it seems as though we are all blooming. or maybe not! either way i feel as though my friends and my acquaintances are 'my own personal geniuses' and i love all of you guys :) where are we going? who the fuck cares. are we on the right path? yeah i think so. lets keep doing it! TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOON!

-b-
9:51 am
.


comeonnight: thats actually me
comeonnight: ok no its not
comeonnight: im sorry
comeonnight: its totally not me
comeonnight: i just kind of wish it was
Monday, February 27th, 2006
2:17 pm
DONATE TO DUBLAB
DUBLAB IS DOING A PROTON GRANT DRIVE. THEY DESERVE MONEY. GIVE THEM MONEY PLEASE!!!

tune in www.dublab.com and drop some dough if you got it. this is a true irrestistably funky CULTURE GENERATOR
Monday, February 20th, 2006
4:33 pm
im starting a business!
so

i figured out what to do with all my creative energy

in a way connected deeply to survival and reality and making money make money

but also i can keep my soul and do what i want to do

i am making a space for people like me who have a lot of creative talent but haven't had a place to get their shit out yet

so here is the deal folks

i have the money now, in the next month or 2 i am renting out a loft which will be my
1. art gallery (fashion, design, graphics, visual, paints, drawing etc)
2. rentable recording studio for all bands who need it and need it cheap.
3. promotional area to have shows and get the word out
4. CHILL OUT SPOT for after the great art shows we will all go to
we can come back to my gallery/loft and drink a 40 and talk about art.


here is what i want from you all my favorite geniuses and geniuses to be:

send me your art. i don't need any money. i got that taken care of. you invest some of your art, and i promote it and help your art pay for you. but it is BY ARTISTS FOR ARTISTS. and honestly it may just crash and burn. it probably will.

but this is the real deal homies and lady sauces

anyone who has any words of wisdom who has gone through similar i would love to hear what you have to say.

this is my first stab at the big time. LET ME PIMP YOUR ART FOR YOU AND I WILL MAKE IT PAY OFF CULTURALLY AND MONETARILY (though not nearly as much monetarily. who gives a shit about that when you got food in your belly, a roof over your head, health insurance, and A PHAT FUCKING FRESH CANVAS.

send me your portfolios, visual, musical, sculpture, whatever. we will work together on figuring out what will sell and what will not.

the thing that i have to offer is taste, moral support, and a space.

GIVE ME YOUR ART!

things i am looking for:
visually:
1. abstract yet complex, inspired by nature or machines, or some sort of subconscious melting pot of ideas
or
2. mad crazy eclectic mixed media on the verge of insanity

musically:
1. electronic break apart glitch, some funky beats, found sound mishmash, electronic robot with a heart beat emo shit
or
2. broken folk, art kid speaking his own personal language because nobody understands his or her verbal shit properly. people singing! people stomping! people lettin' it all hang out

basically 2 sides of the same coin.

what is the stuff you have the most personal investment in, that you think other people may not understand? lets share the cultural gems, and all collectively pee in the pool with our personal (yet very sterile and polite) urine of creativity and make the whole mutha warmer and more conducive to what we all really want to do.

this is a heavy order, but.... im not messing around anymore.

as soon as this money drops for me (next month or 2, i already have investors if i can secure an awesome portfolio of artists)
im gonna invest my entire life into it. because frankly, its what im already doing. im just gonna have food to eat now and bills to pay.


probably name of the gallery/art space/recording studio/living area of mine:

orobouros art inc.

for the snake that swallows it's own tail, for the levels of depth in our every day existence that we can choose to pass by orrrr

we can choose to learn from and teach each other and also hang out at my place and talk art!!

so yes this message seems a bit manic (it is)
and i seem a little scatter brained (i am in general)
but i got a PLAN foo
and now i got some $$$$$$$

lets make it happen!

-brian-
Monday, February 6th, 2006
12:34 am
get jizzy with it
comeonnight: be back in a jizzy
comeonnight: that's funny
comeonnight: *pats himself on the back
comeonnight: come on man
comeonnight: you know that's funny
comeonnight: jizzy!
comeonnight: like jiffy!
comeonnight: ahahaha
comeonnight: no?
comeonnight: ok!
censored: yeah. i got it. good one. i was just distracted....

Auto response from comeonnight: comeonnight: i think i must massage my genitals now
comeonnight: i will be back in a jizzy!
censored: enjoy

comeonnight: send me links if anything strikes your fancy
comeonnight: strikes your fancy
comeonnight: like strikes your fanny
comeonnight: ahahaha
comeonnight: *pats himself on the back
comeonnight: haha
comeonnight: oh man
comeonnight: no?
comeonnight: ok
comeonnight: !
censored: hahaha
Sunday, February 5th, 2006
11:52 pm
peas
through artichoke hearts, wet breathing, cabbage crushed,
and fat fly larvae, white bubbles, the lushes,
they cry for you, a numbing noise, drum brushes,
like a burst of blind travel, you run for release,
like runs in your jeans when they call the police,
i run to you, i'll have fire ceased,
i'll carry you through, we shan't be appeased,
like powder everywhere and you're up against the rope,
like the time that you fell, the bell at the bottom of the slope,
ill see you there, i'll widen, i'll true,
like a straight shot shot from me to you,
like a thousand whispers, in paper, turned blue,
i'll burn my heat hot, i'll sear a hole through,
you'll rise amidst flies, not shutting your eyes,
i believe in you, so i'll be there too.
Monday, January 30th, 2006
10:33 am
hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
this is a story

not about me

this is a story about a machine with a liquid core (resounding grace)

this is where i begin and never end

this is where i have never begun

this is our story
and this is my story

this is where i strain and stretch against the violence
this is where i assimilate the strength of the violence
and not the irrationality of it

this is another fragment of iridescent shell armor

this is big, motherfuckers
this is big


and yet, this is not an ego trip
because you are it and i am it and the sun is it
and the moon

this is the eternal revolution
it picks up the vibrations of the universe
and feels nothing

i am burning right now. i am being reborn (as i swallow my tail)

this is a madness that is truth
this is what killed my father

this is what will kill me
and it will be such a beautiful amazing thing
and to speak of it as 'it' is a lie in itself

this is my wiring this is the gentle thrum

and we will sit together and let our ears pour
their listening capacity among the tiny spaces
between

sockets and joints and tubes and oil and vinegar
and shit

between

wires and circuit boards with tiny blinking L.E.D lights

between

a microcosm that fancies itself a microcosm of the universe

we will listen closely for that consistent hum
the sound of the creative goop of it all
sliding around the innumerable cells and pouches
of my heart

and all the while, it will growgrowgrowgrowgrowgrow
the nuts and bolts and spoons and metallic clangings
in all directions and languages and materials and experiences

growgrowgrow
while we listen
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
4:24 pm
she said
everyone tries to own me

i don't want to be held down

and she said

ill be your baby

but only when im in town

and instead of being together

youuuuu and i and we can be free

its the only way to forever

then she turned around and let me be
Thursday, January 26th, 2006
12:43 pm
"let the boy fill in his broccoli, i say
my statements are double jointed!"

-ebaneezer j. hodgclimp 1997-
8:49 am
im not gonna like be a bummer for those sheep herders
fast weaving telescoping family ties

whisking maternal ursine tarnished bait craft

great walking torpor

west coast herrings

reviewed testament for the universal pimp lipstick organization

even when you are fucked up

my fingers are pretty buff



oompus
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
7:43 am
growin' up
wow wow

im growing up!!

moved out, found new place, staying with aunt, internship at dublab, job at AM radio station, exploring clubs, el cid, 4100, little temple, etc
money rationing, food eating, survival depends on me
LA is huge!
so many weird people
i make new friends every night.
im loving it. this is better.
Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
8:27 pm
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111
Hi Brian,

I look forward to meeting with you tomorrow. We could definitely use
an
extra hand in daily dublab operations. See you tomorrow at 2pm.
Please
find directions pasted below.

peace,

Mark
4:26 pm
i got an internship at www.dublab.com
happy moment for all us


http://71.106.252.122:8112/listen.pls

mixing for pleasure all day tooday pleaze enjoi
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
7:45 pm
.
: how are you?
comeonnight: good
: good
comeonnight: pretty stoney
comeonnight: cleaning
: *nod*
: I want my sheets to be clean. you shoudl do it for me. and while they are in the washer/dryer you should clean my apartment
: I'll cook you diner
: and then bend you over and spank you how you like it
comeonnight: yesssss
comeonnight: can we listen to dub?
: yes
comeonnight: sold


oh by the way tonight i move in with my aunt on sunset in hollywood
Sunday, January 1st, 2006
5:53 pm
happy new year
butts
on a pedestal
in order of sheer bootitude
winner takes home the prize
Friday, December 30th, 2005
2:30 pm
radio stream today
all day

http://71.106.252.122:8112/listen.pls

copy and paste that into your browser url area

!
Thursday, December 29th, 2005
2:27 am
8000 and me
grass gradient swishing




maximize an electric banjo

screwball, ratatat

placing wafer thin blonde things
pleated friendly marxist roses

al sachurante
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